The Passionate Mistakes and Intricate Corruption of One Girl in America by Michelle Tea

Michelle Tea is now well-known for being a San Francisco based writer with works based on the city such as the infamous queer novel Valencia.  However, Passionate Mistakes is from a much earlier time in Michelle Tea’s life when she was a goth high school kid who lived in Chelsea, a suburb of Boston.  It follows her through her teenage years and early twenties in Provincetown and ends with her move to Tucson, Arizona.  This is Michelle’s experience with growing up but it is also contrasted with the larger story of our generation of queers as well as the new generation of feminism.

The memoir follows Michelle through various expressions of  sexual orientation and identity. At the beginning of the book, she starts out as a straight girl who endures boring and awful sex with her boyfriend.   She then explores a little bit further and starts to hook up with girls while still having a boyfriend.  Finally, she comes out with the courage to let her boyfriend go and starts dating women intentionally.  She explores open relationships and is in and out of love triangles and finally has a long-term girlfriend.  And all of this is told with the (intricate) innocence of a Michelle who existed in a time before she even knew what the terms “butch” and “femme” meant and way before she was known as a queer icon of our generation.

The last part of the book chronicles Michelle’s relationship with her prostitute girlfriend, a career which Michelle also chooses to pursue.  Some of Michelle Tea’s experience as a prostitute is chronicled in Rent Girl, her graphic novel which I would highly recommend.  From my understanding she became a prostitute not really because she needed the money but mainly out of her desire to alleviate boredom and lead an unconventional life.

I think Passionate Mistakes is a book that many can relate to because in some sense I think we all have the desire to both find ourselves (Michelle coming out as a lesbian) and the desire to lose ourselves (Michelle choosing to prostitute, even though she loathes it).  I think sometimes that we learn just as much in  losing ourselves as we do in finding ourselves.  I can appreciate this duality and often find myself  living inside the duplicity of lost/found, broken/unbroken, bored/entertained, fulfilled/nihilistic.  Although sometimes being lost can damage I think surrendering to uncertainty and mystery is sometimes necessary in life. Read the rest of this entry »